This is the testimony I gave to my church a few weeks ago:
Good morning, Church.
As many of you know I’ve been feeling ill this past year, and I just wanted to take the time to acknowledge and glorify God publicly for the healing that has taken place in my life the last few months! I won’t bore you with details of what was wrong- to say it simply- I was burnt out- I’m a social worker and was not aware that I was burning myself out but my body let me know- it all of a sudden crashed. And because of time, I won’t tell you all that has been helping to make me feel better (feel free to ask me anytime), but I did just want to say a few things, especially as encouragement for those of you who are in the midst of struggle right now. There were many many many times when I wanted a quick fix or an instant miracle and asked for it many many times. But it didn’t happen that way. It has been a sloooow healing process and only now, when I’m feeling better, can I look back and be grateful for the time I had, even though it was hell going through it. I would not have been able to integrate all the things I’m learning about myself, God, my body, how I’m made and how I can live on this planet . . . if I would have gotten the quick miracle that I asked for. Also, God was slowly coaxing me from the calling I thought I had to a new one. “You think you’re calling is over here, but really it’s . .. come on . . over here.” And I’m now excited about where I think God is leading me even though it took me a while to get to that place. Also, the times when I was able to surrender to God and not to fear, were the times when I learned the most and also when I experienced the most healing. Which seems obvious, but is definitely easier said than done. And is still something I am learning to do of course. . . surrender to God more and fear less. It is definitely a slow learning process.
And I just wanted to thank YOU all from the bottom of my heart for your love and support and prayers! I just felt utterly held and rallied around the entire time. There were people giving me rides, making grocery runs and just sitting with me during those times when I was surrendering to the fear. There were literally people in bed with me putting washcloths over my forehead, and I did just want to publicly thank and acknowledge Pat and Charlie, and Dawn and Loren, Moses, and Craig and Lynice, Webb and SooHyun, Eve and Lindsay, and of course my husband, Dan. There are more .. . God strategically placed certain people in my life at the exact time I needed them. And I know God was watching out for me and was with me even when I did not feel like it. So thank you, church. Thank you God . . . Praise God! And please do continue to keep me in your prayers. I will be traveling to Michigan for a few weeks and when I get back, I will need to find a job that I can do sustainably and stay healthy. But meanwhile I am celebrating the healing that has taken place! Thank you.
