I had a dream a few nights ago that I had to go to a juvenile facility for two years for something I didn't do. In the dream, I kept trying to run away and hide from the authorities. I knew I was innocent. There was an orientation day for our last day of freedom before I was to enter the facility. My mom was there, and I had to give her my cat to take care of for the two years. But I decided to try to run away one more time with my cat. I told my mom, I might as well try. I drove off in a car but this man who worked at the facility came and found me. He was really nice, and I thought having a relationship with him would help get me through, but I was terrified of being locked in my room and not being able to get out. Then I started asking questions about what it would be like to live in the facility, like the size of the room and how often I would be let out of my room. Talking with him, I knew I had to do it even though I hadn't done anything wrong.
Then I woke up.
My health has been up and down, which has been very confusing. But I'm at the point where trying to live a stress-free life and eating nutritionally is not getting me better. I'm going to try and seek outside help again through western medicine and through alternative medicine. I'm not looking forward to the journey of trying to figure out what's wrong. I'm definitely not looking forward to trial and error. I'm scared. I don't know if I have the strength to go through this. I am really hoping for a miracle.
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