nanny rant

nannying is really hard. and really complicated. spending that much time with a little one and then having no say on anything and not being able to control what happens when i leave really sucks. i worry about the future too. will i still be in touch with him after i stop working for them someday? will his mom continue to try to fill her needs through him? will she stop trying to check off her fucking to-do list and spend enough time with him? will his parents fight and yell in front of him? I know i'm going to have my own weird issues with my kids, use them to try to fulfill my own needs sometimes, and not always empathize with them. but it's still hard to watch it from the outside. it's hard to see a grown adult whine that her son doesn't say mama, doesn't look at her when she wants him too (he's ten months old!), or doesn't care when she leaves a room. stop whining and put some time in!

she's not the worst mom- i've heard much worse horror stories from fellow nannies. i know she loves him . . .and i know it's a cycle and his mom's own mom didn't empathize with her...blah blah blah. but it's still really hard to watch.

and then there's the cat. she's horrible with her. again does not empathize with her. the poor cat has PTSD, and this woman acts like the cat is out to get her when she "misbehaves." it's a fucking cat. their emotional intelligence is the same as a toddler, so if they're not getting their needs met, they're going to fucking act out.

it's changed since i've been there. it's a little better now. i'm not pretending that i try not influence her. even though that sounds pretentious and judgmental. i don't care. i do try. you know how people pretend to know what a baby or animal is thinking and talk like they are them? and it's really annoying? i do that now. in attempt to get her to walk in their shoes .. . if only just for a minute.

meanwhile, i'll rant when i need to, give the little beings all the love I can when I'm with them, and light a candle when I'm gone, trusting that the same God that created this amazing universe that takes care of me, will also give them what they need moment by moment. this is also my prayer.