nanny update

So I’ve been at my new nanny job for 8 weeks now.  Baby V was about 3 1/2 months when I started.  She’s super cute, of course.  Having some distance from my last job has allowed me to do some processing.  I feel so much more relaxed with the new family.  Baby V’s mom is home sometimes and is much more pleasant to be around since she doesn’t use me as a soundboard to complain about anything and everything.  We actually have conversations where I get to speak too.  And most importantly, I don’t feel like I have to make up for any loss of love or attention that the baby isn’t getting.  Baby V’s mom is super attentive and empathic with her daughter.  I did not know what a RELIEF this would be!  This is allowing me to have a healthier, less intense relationship with her.   I just feel like I go and chill with Baby V instead of playing a protective role and trying to fill her up emotionally.  Phew!

Meanwhile, I didn’t see Baby E for about 6 weeks and did a lot of grieving and processing during that time.  Then the day care that they were sending him to didn’t work out (one of the workers showed up to the day care stoned) so I started helping out with him one to two days a week.  It was wonderful to see him and I was relieved that he remembered me and also that he was doing just fine without me! ;) They just found a new day care for him last week so I don’t know how often I’ll be seeing him.  But I feel like being with him the last month has been sort of a good weaning process for me and I feel more able to let go now.  Also, hoping his mom has seen how much I care about him, and will keep calling me when she needs an extra hand!